Battling With Contentment while my Heart is in Africa

A word that has been coming to my mind lately is "content" I know there are many people that struggle with the concept of contentment due to relationship issues, career goals or even while battling addiction. Contentment does not mean everything is fine and it doesn't even have to mean everything is okay but it does mean making peace with where you are in your current situation. Thankfully I am blessed with a wonderful home, loving husband and steady career which leaves me very content however there is always a yearning for ONE more thing! And that is Tanzania!

 See I went on a journey in 2009 that forever changed my life, every future goal and pulled at my heartstrings. I fell in love with a country and the beautiful people of that country!

I feel in love with giving and honest compassion for others. I feel in love with the smell of Africa, the fresh air at the base of Kilimanjaro, and the sweet, contagious smile of the African children.

 I had the pleasure of going with a great group of people, one of which I now call Mamma Gayle! I went with an orthopedic surgeon, two nursing students from Northwest college, a pre-med student and grad student that was on her second trip to Tanzania. I was really lucky to have a great group of people to go with and to share this amazing experience with!

When I went to Africa there were 3 phases that I noticed myself going through

1 // Shock - You can't imagine what you are seeing and all the devastation from being in a 3rd world country. You want to help out around the clock and feel like your efforts will never be enough

2 // Absorb - You truly feel like you can't absorb enough of it. You want to remember every minute and every second! You don't want to ever forget the faces of the Tanzania people and you just can't seem to fathom loosing that feeling of being amongst the most special people on earth!

3 // Breaking Away - You don't want to leave. The trip to the airport on your last day brings tears to your eyes because you don't want to leave this beautiful land and you know that it is so unsure as to when you will return...But you MUST return! Your heart can't find that sort of set on fire, free, overwhelming love anywhere in America.

There were times after I returned that I would just cry. I would be frustrated that I wasn't back in Africa. Angry at how much it would cost to return again. And confused as to how my friends and family could never understand how I felt while I was in Tanzania. Every story I told just couldn't express how I felt and I couldn't "bottle" up the emotion enough to explain that it was truly where I felt God's love the most!

But then my sister went to Tanzania on the same Medical Mission trip that I went on! Finally someone to talk about the Tanzania people with! Finally someone that understood what I felt and what I saw! And we made a promise to each other that we would return again to Tanzania but this time we would go together!

So that is why my heart is yet to be content. Because there is a piece of my heart that is in Tanzania! I'm glad I have the warm memories and hundreds of photos to keep my heart steady while I wait for a return trip to that special land unlike no other.

I'll leave you with this. It is from the blog A Holy Experience

You have got to use your position inside the gate for those outside the gate – or you’re in the position of losing everything. There are a thousand ways to be the living dead.

If you have any food in your fridge, any clothes in your closet, any small roof, rented or owned, over your head, you are richer than 75% of the rest of the world. We are the Esthers living inside the palace.

If you have anything saved in the bank, any bills in your wallet, any spare change in a jar, you are one of the top 8% wealthiest people in the world. We are the Esther’s living inside the gate.

If you can read these words right now, you have a gift 3 billion people right now don’t, if your stomach isn’t twisted in hunger pangs, you have a gift that 1 billion people right now don’t, if you know Christ, you have a gift that untold millions right now don’t. We are the ones living inside the gate.

http://www.serenitynowblog.com/2013/06/weekend-bloggy-reading-link-up_21.html#more

A Holy Experience

One of my friends on facebook posted this article from a website that I just couldn't not share! The author of the website is actually the author for  the book "A Thousand Gifts" which I have been meaning to read! She is a farmer's wife and has 6 kids but this particular post was about the tornado that struck Oklahoma on Monday. The tornado was an F5 and the death toll is at 24 which includes many children.

As you can see the houses in the tornados path were leveled


Astonishing map showing the path the largest recorded tornado in 1999 and the now largest tornado path. Literally  being in the exact same spot at one time! What are the chances?

you can see the dirt that was tore up where the tornado hit



All this woman has left is the clothes on her back and her little kitty.



http://www.aholyexperience.com/2013/05/how-god-feels-about-storms/

This article really made so much sense. Some people that aren't believers and even believers struggle with the fact that "if God is so Great then why does he allow bad things to happen?" My only answer is that these storms, shootings and hatred are all a result of the devil and his plan to knock us down causing frustration and widening the gap between us and God. Or maybe the answer to that question is that in order for us to see all the Good in this world we must first live through the bad. Because why would we even need God if our lives were perfect? Yes He would be there to thank but how grateful do you think we would be for all these blessings if the blessings were all we had and we didn't have the bad days.

Lord God I pray for every soul affected by these tornados. I pray that they may find a glimmer of hope in all this distruction and that they may become even a little closer to you through all of this. Help them to understand you hold all their tears in Your Mighty hands! Lord please bless Oklahoma with the money, supplies and volunteers needed to recover from this storm.

Here is another post from her site that I really enjoyed. It is so beautifully written and expresses what a lot of Christians feel I think.

You shut off the screen, pushed back the chair, found your feet, didn’t come up with an excuse or a distraction or an eyeroll, but you simply came to the child, to the man, to the lost, with the name of Jesus on your tongue and the fire of Christ in your belly and the heat of your Savior in your bones and the thing is: When you’ve been saved, you can’t stay.
When your Savior is in you, you can’t stay still.
When you love God, you have got to go.
Yes, there is no other way to begin or become or be: Be still and know He is God. And once you know He is God… how can you not let other people know? Experience Him? Know. Him? There’s simplicity for a soul: Stilling. Knowing. Then Going.
And it comes unforced, like a reviving wind – When the gentle stillness of God fills you … the burning love of Christ fuels you.
To. Go.
Christianity means someone goes. Christianity means someone comes. SomeOne left heaven, SomeOne went to a manger, to a Cross, to the dying and trapped and the buried. And if no one goes across the room, across the house, the sidewalk, the street, the country, how many will grow cold and fall asleep and drift off and away?
How many will be held captive and chained and bound and who will go and break down doors and break down walls and break down small boxes and the only way for your life to yield anything is to go.
Take one step, reach out your hand.
You don’t have to have anything — but Christ.
Don’t let the Great Commission be your life omission by thinking it’s a function of distance — instead of going the distance right where you are.
You’ve just got to go down the hall, across the room, to the end of the street, across town, over high walls, across county and state and country lines and reach right across barbed wire fences. If we’re the hands of Christ — how can we just sit on them? If our feet are shod with gospel of good news — how can they not go where there’s bad news?
Isn’t this always the holiest work of all — to lay aside an agenda to carry a cross and the presence of Christ just. one. step. further.