Battling With Contentment while my Heart is in Africa

A word that has been coming to my mind lately is "content" I know there are many people that struggle with the concept of contentment due to relationship issues, career goals or even while battling addiction. Contentment does not mean everything is fine and it doesn't even have to mean everything is okay but it does mean making peace with where you are in your current situation. Thankfully I am blessed with a wonderful home, loving husband and steady career which leaves me very content however there is always a yearning for ONE more thing! And that is Tanzania!

 See I went on a journey in 2009 that forever changed my life, every future goal and pulled at my heartstrings. I fell in love with a country and the beautiful people of that country!

I feel in love with giving and honest compassion for others. I feel in love with the smell of Africa, the fresh air at the base of Kilimanjaro, and the sweet, contagious smile of the African children.

 I had the pleasure of going with a great group of people, one of which I now call Mamma Gayle! I went with an orthopedic surgeon, two nursing students from Northwest college, a pre-med student and grad student that was on her second trip to Tanzania. I was really lucky to have a great group of people to go with and to share this amazing experience with!

When I went to Africa there were 3 phases that I noticed myself going through

1 // Shock - You can't imagine what you are seeing and all the devastation from being in a 3rd world country. You want to help out around the clock and feel like your efforts will never be enough

2 // Absorb - You truly feel like you can't absorb enough of it. You want to remember every minute and every second! You don't want to ever forget the faces of the Tanzania people and you just can't seem to fathom loosing that feeling of being amongst the most special people on earth!

3 // Breaking Away - You don't want to leave. The trip to the airport on your last day brings tears to your eyes because you don't want to leave this beautiful land and you know that it is so unsure as to when you will return...But you MUST return! Your heart can't find that sort of set on fire, free, overwhelming love anywhere in America.

There were times after I returned that I would just cry. I would be frustrated that I wasn't back in Africa. Angry at how much it would cost to return again. And confused as to how my friends and family could never understand how I felt while I was in Tanzania. Every story I told just couldn't express how I felt and I couldn't "bottle" up the emotion enough to explain that it was truly where I felt God's love the most!

But then my sister went to Tanzania on the same Medical Mission trip that I went on! Finally someone to talk about the Tanzania people with! Finally someone that understood what I felt and what I saw! And we made a promise to each other that we would return again to Tanzania but this time we would go together!

So that is why my heart is yet to be content. Because there is a piece of my heart that is in Tanzania! I'm glad I have the warm memories and hundreds of photos to keep my heart steady while I wait for a return trip to that special land unlike no other.

I'll leave you with this. It is from the blog A Holy Experience

You have got to use your position inside the gate for those outside the gate – or you’re in the position of losing everything. There are a thousand ways to be the living dead.

If you have any food in your fridge, any clothes in your closet, any small roof, rented or owned, over your head, you are richer than 75% of the rest of the world. We are the Esthers living inside the palace.

If you have anything saved in the bank, any bills in your wallet, any spare change in a jar, you are one of the top 8% wealthiest people in the world. We are the Esther’s living inside the gate.

If you can read these words right now, you have a gift 3 billion people right now don’t, if your stomach isn’t twisted in hunger pangs, you have a gift that 1 billion people right now don’t, if you know Christ, you have a gift that untold millions right now don’t. We are the ones living inside the gate.

http://www.serenitynowblog.com/2013/06/weekend-bloggy-reading-link-up_21.html#more

Moore, OK Tornado Clean-up

On Friday the 24th I left after my shift at work to head to Hastings to meet up with Bailey, Josh and Travis to start our adventure down to Oklahoma City. We ended up having to take two vehicles because we had so many donations of clothes, bedding and water! Bailey and I took the Honda Pilot and with Bailey as our Pilot we headed on the road. I fell asleep shortly after we started driving and that way the trip didn't seem so long :) We ended up getting there Friday evening and it took us about 7 hours total with the many potty stops we had to make for Bailey. We stayed with Josh's friend Thomas and his girlfriend Amanda. They have a little house in OKC that they rent and even have a hairless cat named Paisley. I was pretty excited that they had a cat and I had never seen a hairless cat so it was quite the experience. Amanda warned us about the cat before we went inside the house and after we got in Bailey said "I'm so glad you warned us about the cat" because we may have mistaken it for a large rat!



We all went out to eat at a Mexican restaurant and it was delicious! We all enjoyed some margaritas (minus Bailey of course) and had a great time. Bailey and I watched a couple moves while the guys and Amanda played drinking games. Then we got up bright at early at 7 to go start volunteering. We met up at a volunteer site that had shovels, masks and gloves for us and we waited in line for the buses that took us to the different sites that were damaged.

As we got closer and closer I kept wondering and wondering what it was going to look like in person. You see the images on the news but it was still a big shock when we finally saw all the piles of brick, wood, trees and belongings through the bus windows.

Poor Kitty that was found after being buried for 6 days! He didn't even have enough strength to drink water. The owner is holding him in this picture and had 3 other cats that were still lost. She had to take him to the vet and we wont ever know if he pulled through or not. While we continued to clean up at her house we made sure to keep an eye out for the other cats but had no luck. 

Through the destruction a symbol of how America will prevail! This picture was taken on the second day we were there in Moore. We were helping at Steve's house that was in a neighborhood that Obama had just visited hours earlier. 







People would spray paint their insurance company and address on their houses. Unfortunately we heard there was a cap on the amount of money people would receive from the insurance companies so who knows if they would get the value of their home back so they could rebuild. 

This carpeted area is where Steve's wife was during the tornado. She was in this closet with her two dogs covered up with a robe. Remarkably she did not even have a scratch! Steve was at work when the tornado passed and was worried about finding his wife when he returned home. The storm tracking in Oklahoma is so precise that they can pinpoint the street intersections that the tornadoes are crossing at that moment. 

Bailey and I with Steve, the homeowner. He wanted to take pictures of Bay's belly so he could remember who was helping him that day :)

Pretty leery finding! However the movie is based on Oklahoma tornadoes.

Spray paint reading "Love this home. Demolish per owner. we don't want it anymore!" Sad but not uncommon site in Moore. Houses could be categorized between repairable, demolish or pick up the remains. We sorted through the 2x4's and insulation to find photos, clothing or salvageable items that could still be used. Steve was excited to find a framed picture of his daughter but most of the stuff had to be set to the curb to be picked up for the junkyard. 

View of the OKC skyline as we headed from Moore to Oklahoma city. We could only stay about 3 hours each day because we would get so itchy from the insulation we were picking up. Travis got a pretty bad rash from it and Bailey and I got pretty sunburnt. We spent Sunday night putting vinegar on each other to help sooth the burns. Saturday night we went to Dave & Busters to play some arcade games and have supper and then Sunday night we ordered Papa John's Pizza (my request of course) and ate out on the deck. The weather in OKC was great and afterwards all of the girls went for a walk while the boys sat around the fire. 

The trip was quite an eye opening experience. Through the past years I have helped with major disasters including flooding, hurricanes and tornadoes now. When we helped at Katrina it was years after the hurricane had hit so they were in the rebuilding process. And as messy as flooding is, most of the houses are still salvageable but with this tornado the houses were knocked down to the foundation and only a very small percentage of Oklahoma homes have basements because of the high level of ground water. A homeowner can install a small shelter in the ground for about $2000. We also heard that they may put a new law in affect requiring all new homes to have a shelter installed. It is weird to think what you would do without a basement with winds reaching 200 mph. When we were younger we always had to go to the basement during storms and that was still scary. I can't imagine not having a place to go in that horrible storm.  You could definitely tell that the people of Moore had been through horrible tornadoes and all of the volunteering seemed to be very well organized. I'm sure the "shock factor" had already passed and everyone there was so nice and grateful for the help! I just wish we could have stayed longer!

Last minute road trip to... Moore, OK

Hi everyone! hope your week is going great!

I know the tornado victims and damage has always been in the back of my mind this week. Surprisingly I learned that Josh and Bailey are going down to Oklahoma to help volunteer and bring supplies and I figured well that seems like a perfect way to spend my 3 days off! I will miss the color run of course which I am very sad about but there will be plenty more of those races I can run in and this is a one of a kind opportunity. I am going to drive to Hastings to meet them after my shift and then sleep all the way down to Oklahoma probably. It will be devastating to see and I will have to prepare my heart for all of it. I can't imagine my home and neighbors' homes flattened! This will be Bailey and I's second misson trip together.

 

 

I made fun of her and said she is a lil crazy to go down there when she is 6 months pregnant but she replied "I'm pregnant, not a cancer patient.. I can rest when I die!" That is my attitude and I will also be able to cross off a goal on my list because I have been wanting to volunteer somewhere recently. From Hastings it is a 7 hour drive and I really wish Alex could join us but he has to stay home and make the money. We will be staying with one of Josh's friends down there so we won't have to pay for a hotel.

I will post all about it when I get back on Monday. Please pray for us and pray for the people we are helping because they need it oh so much!

She could see how every trouble is like a flood and you can either rise up on it or sink down in it – and if you lean the weight of you — of it all — on the wood of the Cross, you always still rise.